The Check List
October 28, 2008
For all of you who have been divorced, you know what this is. It’s the list, mine was on paper, of your requirments for a new spouse, should you ever decide to acquire one. I offer the salient points of mine below:
1. She must be hot. No more puffed up soccer moms who have given up on looking like a woman.
2. She has to like her music loud, and sing it with me.
3. She has to love sucking cock, and crave it as well. Enough of women who think sex is a duty or even worse, unenjoyable.
4. She must be willing to “sign” an unwritten no stalker, non-pyscho agreement.
5. She must be willing to say “obey” in any eventual wedding vow. After all, all women deep down crave a leader.
6. She must of course have a good heart, laugh alot, and think I hung the moon.
Why Terrorism Exists
November 3, 2008
My wife laughs at me, but now agrees that I have uncovered the painfully obvious reason why terrorism, domestic violence, and general ills befall women of this world. Oral sex.
Men who get their cock sucked regularly are not interested in donning TNT-loaded Armanis for the sake of a lesser good. Divorces don’t happen when women spend some time at the shlong buffet. This was my first thought when I saw Christie Brinkley, a world famous supermodel, being cheated on by her husband. Besides the draw of a young woman, it was obvious that he strayed because she wasn’t sucking his cock anymore.
I am convinced nearly every wrong that is committed in the world, could be solved or prevented by women who would just do their part. I believe this is a law, not a theorem.
